Wedding body update. . .

Nevermind.  I want a body like Mel B!  She got two kids ya'll!

Okay so I am getting married right.  And lately I been stepping up my work out game.  Like I been working out and not cheating myself and coming back and eating Blue Bell ice cream.  I been doing it for real.  I keep my blade with me though cause the papis like how my big booty look in them sweat pants! LOL!  N-E-HOO! I was thinking ab out WHY I work out.  1.  I want my wedding pics to look super-fricking-magnificent.  I want them to look so damn good people don't even recognize me.  I want them to look like a modeling portfolio.  I want Serena's booty, First Lady's arms and Teyanna Taylor's abs.  And what I don't accomplish, spanx will hook me up!  But I just want to look good.  Secondly I want to look good for him.  I want him to look at me like a pice of meat--just a leaner cut.  Third--I want to be healthy, wanna run with my son and not lose my breath.4th--I WANT ANOTHER BABY!  I want to have another baby and not worry about getting huge afterwards.  I want to look and feel good.

Oh this lady stuck her damn leg out while I was run/walking.  I wanted to kick her cane from under her.  bye!

Now Hit The booty-do!

Oh My fricking Gosh!  She funked that thang!

Last post today about wedding dresses. . .

I REALLY LIKE THIS DRESS!  That means I am on the workout like a beast.  Pain is temporary--wedding pics are forever!
My arms and botty gotta be popping!

More wedding dresses

Okay so I like these two dresses as well. I am going to mull it over while I take the young one a la escuela. Adios

Bridesmaids Dresses from Alfred Angelo

So I like both of these dresses for my bridesmaids. I am getting married Spring of next year. I am not solid on my colors yet though. I am so through. Picking colors is wrecking my nerves. I refuse to make them buy something they won't wear again. What should I do?

Riddle me this. . . .

How in the hell do I get a job as a nanny? I went to Miami Beach to go walking at this park right? And all these nannies are there with these water head (shout out to Pres. Obama) kids that I know they did not push out themselves cause they are a size zero and Lil Suzie's big ass head is a size 16W from Lane Bryant. Nanny pulling up in a cool whip I mean the color of cool whip but its like a 09 Benz or something) or walking the kiddies in one of those old Jaguar ass priced funny looking stollers. OMG How about, right, I was at my sons doctors office and this big ass five year old had a damn PACIFIER in his mouth. Maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe I shoulda had a darn nanny. But these girls look good so I can only imagine that the husbands were the ones that hired them. And what what they get with me? A SNICK.ER BAR! Thick, chocolate--just a lil bit nutty, but if you got a sweet tooth I am what you need! LOL! I joke I joke I keed I keed! But for real.

Anyhoo--gotta bathe the kiddie.
BRB

Here comes the BRIDE!

Procrastinating like a mugg. . . .

I honestly truly do not feel like cleaning my son's room.  Lil filthy rump.  I say, "Boy, you can't eat in your room!"  and guess what I see, a pile of ants tearing up the remainder of the Spi.der M.an fruit snacks he left under his bed.  OMG!  I feel like Napolean Dynomite right now.  That movie is HI-larious. I need a fricking job. But m mind is never on any job that I am doing--not never, just not fully.  My mind wanders like a child with ADD a the youth fair. Ya heard me! LOL!  I wanna be on a reality show.  OMG!  Harlem Heights is my ish!  I Like Briana's attitude.  Talking about Dawn last night she said, "Baggy sweaters over a big frame"  HA HA HA HA FRICKING HA HA HA HA!  Dawm is pretty as hell though.  Bur Bri Bri got jokes.  Okay.  I got a lil bit o' energy.  Gonna make a grilled cheese sandwich with TWO slices of cheese and finish cleaning up.  BRB

The Recession had my eyebrows looking like

two caterpillars on my face.  OMG!  No money to get them waxed or threaded.  I broke down in the middle of cleaning my oven to get them done cause honey they can make or break your face.  I am too pretty to have my eyebrows holding hands.  BRB